Here are the letters you wrote earlier today:
(Arlene and Graeme)
Dear Mother
I am here because I am missing my pet rabbit. He is very very very sick. And going to die. If I don’t resuscitate his brain. He is not going to make his appearance look good unless I feed him other kinds of rabbits. Unfortunately I can’t find any more rabbits. Do you know if there are pet rabbits at your store because I can’t find other rabbits. I’ve being attempting to use snakes to resuscitate his brain but it doesn’t have any effect. He is not going to be alive for long unless I get more rabbits. Do you know if parakeets will work on my rabbit because I am desperate to resuscitate his brain. Please inform.
Prince Charles’ rabbit is going to be dead if I want to save my own rabbit.
Sincerely,
Queen Elizabeth II
(Priya and Jenn)
Dear John and Mary
We got a dragon for you! So enjoy your new dragon because it is a dragon. Don’t kill the dragon or I will kill you. Please feed him one rabbit a day or he will die. Don’t feed him dogs because he will barf and die. Please refrain the dragon from eating dogs. Due to his actions. The dragon also blows bubbles and fire so beware of evil dragon bubbles and fire.
Sincerely,
David and Jigsaw
(Peter and Eugene)
Dear James
Hi! It’s been a long time. How are you? I’ve been really sad because my wife has gone to Burma. It’s been very very hard to cope with the absence of my wife. She always bakes delicious muffins with sprinkles and icing. These muffins have brought much joy to my village. You would love these muffins. They bring much ecstasy to my local people. Once she placed three muffins on the altar and sacrificed a lamb then ate the muffins while pulling the intestines of the lamb. The village children danced gracefully around the altar as she squirted the lamb’s intestinal fluid on them.
Anyway, what is the haps?
Sincerely,
John
(Sarah and Liam)
Dear Ghost!
I cannot see anymore. This is because you are crashing my parties. I wish you wouldn’t crash my parties because I am very hurt by this action. It makes me very upset! I can no longer bear this pain and I cannot see any longer. I need to sleep now because you keep being so evil! And I desperately need to eat because I cannot eat! There is a very large mouse in my throat! I cannot speak or eat or eat! See indeed. This is very very unfortunate. I wish I need kill mouse the the mouse because he is very scratchy. My mother is so so very very sickly sickly unfortunately. So, I cannot write this letter any longer. So please do not crash my parties.
Sincerely,
Window
~
There you have it.
Cheers,
Cliff
